Wong Lives! Book Reviews: Book Review: Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

Source: Amazon.com

From the book’s cover:

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.

Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.

Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."

This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

The review:

This is one of those reviews I struggled even to make notes for. But not for the reasons you may think. Often if a book or film is a real pain to get through, I find my feet dragging when it comes to the review process. But then at times, the opposite is true. A book (or even occasionally a film) talks to me so clearly that I want to absorb the whole thing, and so the note-taking process becomes quite a chore. Quiet was one of these instances.

The author, Susan Cain. / Source: scholarblogs.emory.edu

By way of explanation, Quiet is a book that everyone who has ever been called an introvert ought to take a moment to at least peruse. I can say this, as I am myself introverted. And so I was pleased to discover that this book actually takes time to analyze the value of introverted-ness, rather than teach people how to be less so.

I have a rather long list of details from the book that I'd love to share in this review. And I will note some of them below. But for those who like brevity in a written review, I'll say up front that I recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. If you are more of the extroverted sort of person (traditionally defined as someone who gains personal energy by being around or interacting with people - the stereotypical life-of-the-party individual who needs that contact in order to feel complete), then Quiet will help you to better understand those around you who are introverts. And if you are like me: that is, you feel quite certain you could be a poster child for the introvert personality (i.e.: someone who needs space and time away from people in order process and thus recoup personal energy), then Quiet will help reaffirm some of the feelings you've long held, and perhaps even been ashamed of because you thought you were somehow broken in the world's eyes.

I realize this is a rather dramatic statement, to be sure. But it is easy sometimes to feel that because I don't wish to be as social as others do, that I am somehow not as good as they are. It is especially true in our Western society that extroverted traits are praised, while introverted ones are looked askew upon. After all, you don't want your kid to be an introvert, do you? They'll probably be socially awkward. They'll not gain influence over people and be able to work well in groups. They might just end up being slow for their age, right?

A basic explanation of how introvert/extrovert works. Of course the book explains things much more thoroughly.

Rest assured, Quiet takes time to dispel many of the myths surrounding introverted behavior. Among the subjects it covers are:

- The history of how extrovertism got to be the public standard by which we are judged, as well as the increase in social phobias and social anxiety disorder (extreme shyness) that attends such a shift in social norms.

- How people are judged/ranked/classified by their ability to be "social," or "not social."

- Some famous examples of introverts and extroverts who worked in similar fields, such as Rosa Parks (an introvert personality) and Martin Luther King Jr (an extrovert personality).

- How advertising in our society drives a culture of personality, whereas in the late nineteenth century, people were expected to cultivate their character, which is something quite different (prudence, charity, modesty, intellect).

"Q" is for Quiet........... "QUIET!" / Source: lookatmyhappyrainbow.com

- A study on the concept of solving math problems cooperatively. Students who talked often and loudly were higher rated in confidence of their answers than were their companions, even though statistically the students who spoke up had math skills no better, GPA or SAT-wise.

- A look into Steve Wozniak, or the "Great and powerful Woz:" who is an advocate of the "work alone, not on a committee,"-theory, which he believes is a must if you want to innovate. Wozniak, it may be noted, made some of his greatest leaps by working by himself late nights at Hewlett Packard.

- The danger of Group-Think. It was suggested that there be a reduction in classrooms to four desk "pods," where collaboration can happen. It should be noted that this reviewer sees the problem here being that often it becomes the "one or two idea"-think instead of the group think. It is easier to settle for mediocrity in a group, if you don't want to rock the boat. Unfortunately, introvert personalities will sometimes settle for mediocrity in a final product, rather than try to forcefully insert their opinion.

- The myth of brain-storming. Groups that worked face-to-face did worse in brainstorming than groups of motivated individuals who worked alone and then collaborated their ideas. This is what brought about the Linux and the Wikipedia.com success stories, and then gave the lie to the idea that such models can be replicated in a corporate atmosphere. The reasoning goes: "if it works online, it must work in person." But this idea is pointed out in Quiet to be false.

- Professors who work via electronic communication (email, instant messaging) tend to collaborate and produce superior results than face-to-face groups. (Note: I'd like to see the statistics for these assertions, though they definitely fit my fundamental paradigm).

Ah, groupthink. / Source: prezi.com

- Cain points out that the lack of risk aversion and people who could be classified as Introverted/Sensitive in financing banks, when compared to extrovert personalities, who were "throwing the dice" (taking great risks) and led to 2008 market crisis.

- Quiet even went to such lengths as to point out that in nature, introverted/sensitive animal types thrive in one type of environment, and extroverted types thrive in another. Or in other words, shy animals tend to do better in certain environments, while bolder animals do better in others. This can be adapted well to fit Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection, as it can be seen that organisms that adapt, whether it be in a bold way or a cautious one, will survive long enough to pass on their genetic inheritance.

- Quiet discusses the blush - or the involuntary reaction of getting red in the face when surprised or taken off guard. In tests, people who blush score as more sympathetic. Also, primates often show embarrassment as a way of making up after a fight. Further, introverts survive through thinking before acting (evolution). Shy behavior happens in over 100 different species.

- Research was done into the wellspring of introvertedness. Introvert/sensitive is a product of the Amygilla, and occurs before birth. However, the author also found that a person's predisposition can change through the course of their life. For instance, she pointed out the concept of "highly reactive" infants, which she claims are over stimulated. If a child reacts to a big noise, they may be over-stimulated, and this indicates a child who will probably have some degree of introvertedness in them as they develop. (Author's Note: This section had a big impact on parenting my own child, who is very much an extroverted personality).

- Free traits theory, or how introverts live under the extrovert ideal. The theory describes how introvert/sensitives handle day-to-day activities they care about that require more extroverted behavior. Part of this stems from self-monitoring (a psychological term). This is the ability to modify behavior to fit circumstances. It is a big part of how introvert/sensitive types can act like extroverts if the need arises.

The Quiet Man. This is the only John Wayne movie my wife has seen (all the way through), and is one of the few John Wayne movies I have not seen. An interesting coincidence, that. What does it have to do with the book being reviewed? Nada. / Source: Wikipedia.org

- One important way to draw a distinction between introvert/sensitives and extroverts is the way they like to meet other people. Introverts like people they can meet in friendly circumstances, or low-key environments. Extroverts often prefer people they can compete with.

- The national introvert/extrovert styles. For instance, the author pointed out the differing styles of asians governments as compared to the Israelis in negotiations. Asian governments tend to show more introverted styles, even when led by extroverted personalities. Introvertedness is in some ways engendered in their culture, by its social norms. On the other hand, the Israelis prefer an extroverted method of approach, which may be seen as brusque and even overly aggressive if the other side does not know how to deal with it.

These are just some of the highlights I pulled from the book. It is, I'm afraid, one of the problems I have with books that I am very taken with. Instead of a comprehensive review, the reader gets a list of things I liked about the book, but not much of real substance beside that. And I do regret this. But for what it is worth, I do recommend Quiet with few reservations. I have heard it said that the distinctions the author makes about introvert/sensitive and extroverts is not well-founded in the psychological disciplines, and that it may have been misinterpreted by her for the argument she makes. As psychology is a fascinating subject to me, but not my strongest by any means, I would recommend potential readers of Quiet who are concerned about how it fits into accepted practices to study other sources as well.

As for me, I liked it. It is always nice when a book speaks to you, and this one really did. Now if I can just manage to do my tight-rope walk between feeling more introverted, and getting along in a society that expects a higher level of extrovertedness than comes naturally for me, everything will be just fine.